From Celestial Reviews 302 - September 2
"November Third" By Poison Ivan (poisoniv1@hotmail.com).
Q. Do you know what a coolie is?
A. It's a quickie in the snow.
As the title suggests, the main action of this story takes place in November, and so it's not a full-blown coolie. The two lovers do it in a pile of leaves. It's hot sex, even though his dick nearly freezes when she rolls him over to get on top.
And my joke is actually inappropriate for this story, because it's a very serious insight into a very serious passion. To find out what that means and what it has to do with virtual reality, you'll have to read the story.
Ratings for "November Third"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
This review is taken from Celestial Reviews by Celeste (Celeste801@aol.com). The review was written independently of consultation with the author and does not imply collaboration.
If this sounds interesting to you, read the story.
Reader's Reactions
All quotes used without permission. If you object to your feedback being listed here, please let me know, and I will happily remove it.
Very, very nicely done.
Beautiful.
Just beautiful.
So sad, yet ... they did have it once. Or did they? I choose to think they did. And I think I wouldn't like a machine like that.
Good one. Very good. Very tender. Very happily sad....
Oh I don't know. It wasn't so sad. I'd like to think one day that it would be possible to find a love like that. The fact that someone can dream such a love up gives me some hope.
Wow! That was absolutely awesome. As a reader (not a writer) I confess I did not pay alot of attention to the contest Celeste dreamed up. Having read yours, however, I'm anxious for more. I do not expect them to measure up to this, either objectively or especially subjectively; you could have written this just for me.
I just finished your story "November Third", very nice, well written good emotion and it paints a nice picture without having to know everything...I really liked it. Oh the sex was hot too.
This was a brilliant story. I loved the imagery and language you used.
Sometimes I read a story and I get the feeling that I'll never write anything as good. This is because I can't work out why it has the qualities it does (if I could I'd probably be able to make a stab at developing them myself!)
As I read it, thse questions sprang to mind. "Is there a problem here?" "There is a problem, she's ill, I wonder what she has?" "Is she dead then?" These all act as hooks but in the end they're not answered and one realises they never need to be. Clever stuff! (At least I think so)
Also if I had a hot dinner for every time I was so deeply upset that I didn't want anyone to interfere with trite sympathy, but there was always some stupid woman who wanted to "make it alright", I'd be very fat! Wonderful observation.
Keep up the good work.
I must tell you, in case you are wondering, that I have absolutely no problem with your mystery. (As Iris Dement says, "I believe that I'll leave the mystery be...") There are those that will be critical that the gory details were not divulged, all about why our hero needs to dwell upon memories. It could be something as mundane as a divorce, but it feels darker, like death. The mood fabric you have woven is amazing, just as it stands, IMHO. Ever see Peter Weir's "Picnic at Hanging Rock" film?
Good job on the new story; a good, sexy story that nevertheless fits C's contest guidelines. I was worried we'd just get a bunch of Star Trek holodeck crap, but it is good to see that people are trying to write real stories, not just contest entries. Yours is the best I've seen so far.
Good story. Most stories you read, even good ones, are forgotten pretty quickly, but the sad ones seem to stick in my mind more. I'm sure this one will be on my mind for a while.
Also, the unusual setting made it even more memorable. Good job!
Yea, right. Like I'm supposed to follow *THAT*! HA! Thanks Ivan. For those of us who've sweated and slaved to try and come up with a decent entry for the contest you've managed to make us all look like bumbling amatures in one fell swoop.
It's a brilliant story with all the emotions of a powerful love well remembered and the pain of unspeakable loss. I don't even necessarilly think it's a sad story. VR can, in a way perpetuate that love, but therein is also a trap. A complex story that's going to be very, very hard to live up to...
Just wanted to drop you a note and let you know how much I enjoyed "November 3rd". Sad, but very beautiful. There were some pretty strong images in the story -- I especially liked your description of a fall day. I have some good memories of fall and leaves myself, and you definitely ciught the mood.
I didn't think of this as a downer story. You really captured the joy of being in love, and that is what I will remember about this tale. At any rate, I think this is one of the best two or three I've read all year.
Such a sad story!
Beautiful story. *sigh* Too beautiful. *sniff*
If I had been the judge I'd have given it to your 'November Third' with 'Get R.E.A.L.' a close second. I find plots easy to think up but getting emotion and atmosphere into a piece of writing is much harder but you did a great jobin 'November Third', and I seem to remember 'Climbing' had a similar sense of atmosphere.
For the first time, a story of mine sparked a small discussion in alt.sex.stories.d, which I thought was mildly interesting. It centered on whether the story was a happy story or a sad one, and what someone would put with for love. The thread was initiated by one of Theresa's reviews.
From: Teresa
Subject: (ASSD) Two Stories and a Vote
I had a different reaction to Jane Urquhart's Assignation than everyone else, it seems. I couldn't finish it. Maybe that's an acknowledgement of her skill and talent as a writer. What I read brought me close to tears and I'm not sure why I felt that way. The story was too personal, too intimate. I felt like an intruder, someone opening a gift meant for one person. I decided to delete, close the door and let the couple have their privacy.
Then I read November Third by Poison Ivan, which reminded me that all relationships end in tragedy because of the simple fact that they all must end. Death, divorce, or disagreement-- all sever the ties we make with others.
Sorry, I'm normally a cheerful person.
So in hopes of jolting myself out of the doldrums, I vote that Baird finish his parody, Phucules: Becoming a True Stud. Just be sure to include his measurements: 42-30-32-18 (the last is biceps, not the other measurement that concern so many men) ; )
Authors, thanks for writing.
From: Sxjames
Subject: Re: (ASSD) Two Stories and a Vote
Yes, it was a sad tale....but it didn't leave me feeling sad. When I finished it I was thinking "Yes, he suffered a loss, but he also got to experience the greatest joy in life -- being totally, completly one (in love) with another human being. That's very special, and the memories are something he can always hold on to". So, in that sense, it's not a downer of a tale.
It's a 'glass half empty, glass half full' thing I guess.
From: irishlass68
Subject: Re: (ASSD) Two Stories and a Vote
Thats exactly how I felt - Happily sad. Honestly, I was jealous of the dead lady..... (Not becuase she was dead but... oh you know what I mean....)
~Kitty (is there anything love ISN'T worth?)
From: Teresa
Subject: Re: (ASSD) Two Stories and a Vote
I think it was the fact that the man repeated his visits to the VR establishment that made it so sad for me. I wish he could have moved on past his grief.
From: Teresa
irishlass68@yahoo.com wrote:
>
>~Kitty (is there anything love ISN'T worth?)
Your own self worth, maybe? I'd give up a lot (and have) but not that.
From: irishlass68
Subject: Re: {ASSD} Love
Somehow, in my mind at least, if true love exists, then you shouldn't have to give up that.
~Kitty
From: Teresa
Subject: Re: (ASSD) Love
True love can be such a sweet harmony.
Thanks for helping me shake off a cyber cynic attack.
Comments? E-mail Poison Ivan at poisoniv1@hotmail.com